i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
tell me about the eggs
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
