make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
