I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
