we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
