I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize