Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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