Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
