i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
