Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
