I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
