She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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