So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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