idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
