The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Drake has all the answers
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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