let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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