The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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