I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
