brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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