You can't special order awesome
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
