i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
