That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize