everyone is single if you try hard enough
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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