finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
