She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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