she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Who died my cat blue again?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
