quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
