i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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