So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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