69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
