I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
