Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
