Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize