i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
