Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
