why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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