You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
