Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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