I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
