I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
