Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
