I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
