Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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