New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
