I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
