Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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