Umm I'm too high to move.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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