I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
