There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
