have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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