This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
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