You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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