i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
