This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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