he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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