Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
