I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize