My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
