I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
