i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
