my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
