The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
