I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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