Kiss
Puke
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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