just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
