I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
