I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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