You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
