I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
vagina is talking i cant
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
