If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
