Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
