I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
