That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I look better un-naked...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize