I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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