What did we do last night that was yellow?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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