We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize