that's an acceptable place to lick
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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