Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
